Adventures of the Wackiest Kind
by RaphaelplusMikey
Summary: Ok, this is crack. MAJOR crack. And randomness. Jazz and Prowl wake up somewhere with a strange man and an even stranger girl. Prowl has already glitched in the first ten minutes he's been there... These two are in for one hell of a time. DO NOT TAKE THIS STORY SERIOUSLY. Rated T for something that comes in later.


**Quick little bits of info for you here, this story is NOT A STORY. Well, not exactly anyway. My friend Pewdelia and I texted this over the course of a few months. This is not at the top of my priority list, because it's only something we do when we're bored. I have two other ACTUAL stories in the making, so I'm only doing this when 1: We have enough stuff to make a full chapter. and 2: When I feel like it. So updates will not be scheduled or ANYTHING. There will most likely be giant delays between them, and this story may not ever be finished either. With that out of the way, this is a crack fic. As in, how the- what the- whaddafudge?! Kind of crack fic. If you don't understand it, don't worry. We don't really either.**

**DISCLAIMER: There are a lot of things to disclaim, so I will only do this here in the first chapter. Myself and/or Pewdelia do NOT own Transformers. Hasbro does. The awesomeness that is Pewdiepie gets a little shout out because he inspired Pewdelia as in the character Pewdelia and the nickname for the real life girl. Blitzva is my OC, but she is pretty much a genderbent Blitzwing who hasn't developed multiple personalities yet. She is still crazy, beware. Blitzva is also my nickname, along with my deviantart username. Alice and Sebastian belong to Pewdelia. Blame Pewdelia for her cluelessness about Cybertronians and how they work. Blame me for not knowing too much of Jazz's history. I'm not even sure which version of him I'm using.**

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Alice: (O.O) Wtf?! Where am I!?

Jazz: Ah don't know. Ah don't even know how _ah _got here.

Alice: EEEEEEK! W-WHO ARE YOU?!

Jazz: Mah name's Jazz. I'mma Cybertronian.

Alice: Oh. I'm Alice. It's a pleasure to meet you. :3

Jazz: Ya too. Now, do ya know how ya got here?

Alice: (derp face) No, if you don't know, do you think I know?!

Jazz: Heh heh, sorreh. Jus' checkin. So, any ideas?

Alice: Nope! ^w^

Jazz: Not very negative are ya?

Alice: (suddenly has coffee cup filled with coffee in it) No. I always have negative things in my head.

Jazz: Dang it, now ah feel like energon...

Alice: ...So, where are you from?

Jazz: ...Cybertron.

Alice: I'm from London, is Cybertron anywhere near that?

Jazz: ...Um...No. Several light-years away, actually.

Alice: ...So what year were you born?

Jazz: ...Uh... Durin' tha Golden Age of Cybertron. Ah don' think Earth existed yet..

Alice: Oh so you're old? *suddenly gets shot in the head*

Jazz: What the frag Prowl?! *optics wide*

Prowl: *puts away acid pellet gun* NOBODY calls my mate old.

Jazz: What the frag don't you get from 'No harming humans'?!

Sebastian: Actually he was quite right to shoot her, because that's not the real Alice.

Jazz: ...Ah jus' wanna go back ta base now, mah processor hurts.

Prowl: Your processor hurts? Are you jesting? It's taking all my willpower right now to keep my logic processor from glitching again.

Sebastian: The real Alice could possibly help you with that you know. *pulls out large briefcase and opens it revealing a small girl. Then he pulled out a black rose and then puts it near her mouth*

Alice: *wakes up*

Sebastian: You see gentlemen, this is the real Alice.

Prowl: ... *falls over*

Jazz: Dangit Prowler! Sorreh 'bout that, his logic processor is very advanced so if somethin' happens that don't make sense or ain't logical his processor glitches. Ya know, ah think mine jus' might too... *sways and holds helm*

Alice: Do you need help sir?

Jazz: Uh... *plants peds apart and steadies himself* Nah, ah think ah got it. Okay, do _you _know how ah got here?

Sebastian: No idea sir. *looks at Alice*

Alice: Somebody could be using black magic on all of us.

Jazz: Magic? Ah thought that stuff was fake?

Alice: There is actual magic and there is illusions. Of course, this could be either one of those or a mix... Of course it could also be a summoning of sorts.

Jazz: Ah think ahm dizzy again.. It's a good thing Prowler ain't awake yet or ya would've jus' brokem 'im.

Alice: Well do you want me to help you or not?

Jazz: Yes! Jus... Don't try ta explain everythin' too much or ah jus' might pass out. Thas one of tha advantages humans got over us, if something' don't make sense they're fine.

Alice: Sebastian! Get my tool kit!

Sebastian: Yes my young mistress. *pulls out tool kit from briefcase and hands it to Alice*

Alice: Do you want to be fixed first?

Jazz: No, if we got back an Ratchet finds anythin' different bout us he's gonna bury 'is wrench in mah helm. *winces* Besides, Prowler's a tactical officer an' needs 'is logic processor intact. After this ahm jus' gonna tell 'im it was a strange dream cycle.

Alice: You two have got to be joking. If your friend saw anything different and I didn't help you... tch, you'd be scrap metal.

Jazz: True.. Do whatever ya like, jus' leave Prowler's processor alone and leave 'im in recharge.

Alice: Fine. *walks toward him with a bag full of equipment* Do you mind? *looks up at him* (she's a midget)

Jazz: (he's like four stories tall) Err... Ah know! *lays down on his stomach* Well this feels weird. *looking at her*

Alice: *climbs up on Jazz's ped and walks up to Jazz's back and sighs* *unscrews a lot of bolts and, well, screws* Sebastian! Help!

Sebastian: *flies up to Jazz's back and helps Alice pull off a bunch of items*

Jazz: *optics widens and he snickers* Dudes, that tickles!

Alice: Oops! Sorry, I'm checking if your emotes are intact.

Jazz: Mah what?

Alice:: Ngh! Your emotions? You don't know what that is do you?

Jazz: Ah know what they are. They're intact, if they weren't then ah would've... Then.. *makes a bunch of clicking and whirring noises* Agh! There ain't a way ta say it in English. Jus' trust me, they're there. Besides, mah systems check says that part of mah processor's fine.

Alice: AHH! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SMELL?! SEBASTIAN GET MY GAS MASK!

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**I'm just going to stop here and say, what the **** did I just write?!**

**Like I said... Pewdelia knows nothing about Cybertronians. I was lucky enough that she knew Cybertronians were Transformers. So yeah... Oh! Check out my other story TFA: Bonds if you like TFA. FREE ADVERTIZING! :D**

**So yeah. This story is nuts. Don't expect updates too often though. Unless someone pms me or leaves me review saying they want more. *hint hint* I'm only going to continue this if I see that people are liking it.**

**~RpM**


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